Confidence: How long does it take?

The biggest question people ask is, “How long does it take to gain confidence?” No matter how hard you search, you will never find one right answer. See, building confidence is a process and it won’t happen overnight. You won’t magically wake up one day to find your confidence switch turned to ON.

During my own personal development journey, it’s taken me two years to be my confident self. The truth is, I still get nervous before an interview and I still have to motivate myself to try new things outside of my comfort zone. But, I can still call myself confident. It’s because I look back to who I was before and celebrate all the progress I’ve made. I’m no longer the girl who allows toxic individuals to control her life. I’m no longer the girl who’s hands starts shaking during interviews. I’m no longer the girl who thinks the world is out to get her.

If you’ve heard of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, you’ve probably heard about self-actualization. Self-actualization is not a destination, it’s a continuing journey. According to Maslow, only 2% of people achieve this need.

I remember how I always thought I was the only one who wasn’t confident. But, it takes everyone a long time. In fact, I came across this article about The Art of Taking the Ugly Photo. The author, Lalitha Pamidigantam, made a great point. “…it takes courage to be yourself on the increasingly fake world we are delving into.” We all have those photos on our phones that we love, but won’t post on social media. This idea makes me appreciate those who actually post the photos or are open about their “insecurities.” I’ve especially been so inspired by all the celebrities out there sharing their own stories and experiences.


One of the most empowering tweets I’ve come across is by Melissa Jefferson, aka Lizzo. She responded to someone discussing confidence in relation to one of her songs. Here’s her tweet:

It took Lizzo TEN years and she is still growing as a human being. I am truly inspired by her confidence.

Demi Lovato

Demetria “Demi” Lovato has always dealt with confidence issues for pretty much her entire life. She was always been victim to cyber bullying. When she was younger, it was about her appearance (like her chin) and more recently, her drug addiction.

When I saw her post, I immediately commended her courage and confidence. In a world where we need to be perfect on social media, she was promoting the love she had for herself and her body. She was nothing short of fearless and brave.

Nabela Noor

Nabela Noor’s story is one of my favorites. As a brown woman, I know exactly what she went through for being a plus size brown woman.

Nabela has actively been vocal about the hate she has received because of her size. It’s disheartening to know that people out there will try to bring you down just because of your appearance. Growing up, I was one of 3 overweight brown girls I’d ever met. The constant “advice” to lose weight eroded my confidence so much I would avoid family gatherings. When I discovered Nabela, it changed my mindset. I went from thinking, “Ok, maybe people might like me even though I’m fat” to “I am overweight, but it has nothing to do with who I am as a human being because there’s nothing wrong with me loving my body.” This is why I am so excited about Nabela’s clothing line, Zeba.

Who is another celebrity or publid figure that has inspired you or someone else who deserves recogniztion for sharing their story?

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